One more bag

Another bag of clothes sits by my door waiting to be donated.

I can almost feel the frustration leaving, but not yet.

It still is never clean enough.

              At this point into my downsizing I have probably donated about two big garbage bags of clothes in the last 4 months. Which I am kind of proud of. I’ve gotten all my shirts to fit into ONE drawer and my closet has been cleared of many unused hangers. While the hangers is mostly visual, it does make me feel so much less stressed when looking at my  closet. It isn’t nearly as cluttered or chaotic. And I’m tremendously happy  when I look in my shirt drawer and I can see them all and they all fit! Yet… I still feel lost in my room sometimes.

              Okay… I’m going to back up a bit. My room has ALWAYS been messy. I’m constantly tripping on stuff, and looking through piles of clothes for my lost keys. I remember as a kid cleaning my room would take all afternoon. My sister and I would put on this Disney mixed tape that we had and spend all afternoon cleaning. But it really was DISCOVERING things that had been lost behind our dressers, the bottom of our drawers or under the clothes on the floor. It was always so much to find those things we hadn’t seen in months and play with them for 5 minutes then put them away and not take them out for another 6 months. It made cleaning my room fun, even though I had way too much stuff I still loved most if not all my toys. (I was a kid after all)

                 I still feel like I’m finding things I’ve forgotten about whenever I clean. Except I think now I’ve accumulated so much stuff that I actually HATE. Shirts that don’t fit, hair products that I didn’t like, moisturizer I had an allergic reaction to, cables for printers I no longer own. So now when I clean my room I’m not discovering toys that have been missing, I’m finding things I’m frankly sick of taking space up in my life. I hope that one day everything that I have surrounded myself will be things that I love again. Until then, I acknowledge the feeling when it arrives and take them time to get rid of that item.

            I’ve been so focused on getting my closet down that I’ve completely looked passed my actual belongings. Well on to the things!


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